Before I Even Knew What I Was Doing

Have you ever done anything and really didn't even realize that you were doing it? Maybe caught yourself staring at some stranger, but really didn't even know you were doing it. Have you ever been driving down the road and then just realized you didn't know where you were going or how you got to where you were at? Maybe you haven't done that, but I have.

That is kind of the way I gained so much weight. You know, I didn't even realize I was gaining the weight. My clothes got a little tighter, so I wore stretch pants.. (It is amazing how much those things can stretch!!!) I wore jogging pants most of the time or even my night shirt all day if I didn't have to go anywhere.. Now, tell the truth! Have you ever done that also? I never saw myself in pictures and have you ever realized that when we look in the mirror, we don't really see our size? In my mind I was still the size 6 I used to be.... Until that fateful day I got sick. Since I always take my vitamins and stress tonic, I rarely ever get sick... but I had come down with bronchitis. I tried to fight it off myself, but to no avail.. I had to go to the doctor. Now what is the first thing they do to you when they call you back? Yes, that is right.. the nurse weighs you! When she weighed me, I almost fell off the scales and right into the floor. I don't even remember what the doctor said to me that day or what prescriptions he gave to me! I could not get that number out of my head. That HUGE number on the scales. It was the biggest number that I had ever seen on scales. It was bigger than the most I had weighed even at 9 months pregnant and my youngest child was now 6 years old! Talk about shock! How had this happened to me? What had I been doing? What did others see when they look at me? How could I even look at myself the same when I know what the scales said? I was in utter disbelief and my heart actually ached. It was that fateful day, that I made up my mind to do something about this. I didn't tell anyone at the time. It was a secret that would tell itself when the pounds started falling off.